This is a long over due journal. For anyone with an outstanding commission that has not been started so far. I will be working on refunding you over the next couple of months. I ask you to forgive me for the time its taken for me to come to this decision.
I have loved art my whole life, and everyone has always told me I should make a living out of it. I have always shyed away from that because I was always afraid what I did would not live up to the idea the buyer had. But over the years I have tried to get in to the business anyway, some things I have been very lucky with. I have gotten to work with many amazing artists, and many amazing projects.
I have discovered that the art for hire business is not for me; it puts a level of stress on me that I just cant deal with. Every drawing or sculpt is not as good as I would want it to be, and so I end up being unhappy with it, convinced that the buyer will be unhappy with it as well I end up dreading working on them. And unfortunately this has lead to my over all anxiety of working on the sculptures or drawings at all. And with the knowledge that I have commissions outstanding, its kept me from working on my own work. And thus a cycle begins that has lead to stagnation.
I have decided that as far as profits go, art is not for me. I enjoy working on the art that appeals to me. I love to draw, and sculpt but I am not gifted with the ability to do it under any kind of demand. I hope that from here and there in the future I can again work on projects with the artists I admire. But Im afraid that commerce escapes me.
Deep down it comes down to the fact that art is my passion, I love art, artists and I am so thankful for those out there that can do it, and make it available for me to buy, and draw inspiration from! But I will just never be one of those people, I will continue to draw, and sculpt I hope in the future, because those are the things that make me happy.
I dont mind the normal 9-5 to pay the bills infact, I find it almost freeing because at the end of the day
I can walk away. I dont think about the people or the business. I could never turn art off like that.
Thank you to everyone who has been supportive. I am so sorry to everyone whos had to deal with delays. Apologies do not begin to cover how bad I really feel about the long time its taken.
For anyone who would like to keep track of my art from here forward you can find me here
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